The day I met my first born marks a milestone in my life. A day after which, I was no longer the person I was before. An anniversary of my becoming conscious of complete and utter vulnerability. Upon meeting him, I would never again walk this Earth with the same sense of complete confidence. The physical scars have long since healed, but I remain tragically aware of how profoundly wounded I could be because of this most precious being.
My deep vulnerability is packaged neatly and poetically with laughter – sometimes a chuckle, sometimes absurd, full-on, side-splitting belly laughs. Belly laughs like when we discovered that I pee (just) a little bit when he double bounces me on the trampoline. That’s right, I pee, just enough to make me laugh out loud.
So double bounce away, little man, ’cause the mixture of belly-filling laughter and slight humiliation is truly sublime.
You know when you were a kid and you’d outgrow a pair of shoes? Well, I suppose the same thing happens to writers. I was told once that every writer writes because they have something to work out in their lives. In this case, I would have to agree.
I started lifeonespoonfulatatime at a time when I was trying to determine the source of a deep unhappiness. The writing I did here allowed me to do just that and gave me something invaluable along the way. Thanks for stopping by, reading a bit and sharing your comments over the past few years, but, it is time for this middle-class American white girl to move on.
I will now write under my own name, Amber Curry Gracia and I invite you to follow me at my new blog: www.ambercurrygracia.com. There will still be the same amount of narcissism and sarcasm, but with far less fear and resentment.
Go check it out!
“The clearest way into the Universe is through a forest wilderness”
– John Muir
Perhaps a bit cliché, but Lake Tahoe is one of my favorite places on Earth. She has a crisp majesty that seduced me the moment I first saw her over 20 years ago. Each time I revisit her, it is a cosmic recharge to my spirit.
I am home here.
On a clear day, you can see Mt. Meru from the trails of Kilimanjaro. I am lucky in more ways than I can count, but this day counts as one of the greatest ways. As a child growing up on not-so-kind street, this is a view I would have never imagined. Not even for a minute.
453 days later and finally it looks like the house we envisioned